Surviving Separation

It's never easy to lose a best friend, and when there is a betrayal involved, then the hurt can be almost beyond healing. But things do get better over time and it is usually through the warmth and caring of our other friends, that we learn to live again.

Friends are our greatest resource when we are in times of need. They are there to help us through the loneliness, the insecurity and the anger of a separation. We lean on them, and in their strength, we find our own ability to once again stand alone! They are there to teach us to trust again, to care again, and even to believe in love again. They are our means of surviving betrayal.

Thinking back on my broken heart, and how I managed to survive it, reminds me of just how important those friends are. Gosh but it all seems like it happened a million years ago now...

Memories Of Yesterday

Life changes in a heartbeat. Suddenly all that was isn't, and all that should have been, will never be. One moment ticks on the clock, one terrible moment in time that can never be erased, never changed, and never forgotten. In that small instant life becomes something foreign, a place no longer safe, and all that that one can do is shake their head in disbelief.

There are times in life that are just so emotionally difficult, that they push us to the very depths of despair, we are tossed into a position where we actually no longer care if we live or die. It is at these times that the only way that a person can survive is to exist within the strength of others. To lean on someone who is strong enough to support them until they are powerful enough once again to enjoy their life. To want once again to live their life.

Most of us have heard the words to the song, "Lean On Me". We just have to remember them when we are in time of need and search out those people who will support and defend us until we are once again strong.

My Story Of Surviving Heartache and Heartbreak

Here I stand. A blubbering fool on a street corner with tears streaming down my face. I haven't slept for two nights and I am too tired to control anything let alone a few measly tears. I know that everything is going to be okay, it always is, but god does it ever hurt right now. There's a voice screaming in my head, "What happened?"

"Exactly what the hell just happened here?".

It is one of those questions that I don't think that I want to know the answer to. Maybe I just don't want to deal with it right now or maybe I am just not strong enough to deal with it right now. I walk slowly back to the house, phone my daughter, and tell her that I am leaving him. Then I pack up my truck, kiss my home, trust and dreams goodbye, and I run for my life. All the while I am thinking, "Who gave up you or I?". Either way it doesn't matter. It is over and I am alone again. I am alone.

.........and time seems to move so slowly. Every minute seems like an hour and every day feels like a week.

The cashier smiles at me and says, "How are you today?". Humph? Let me think about that one. I have just had my heart ripped out and I am standing here with this huge gaping hole in my chest. Gosh, I guess considering the circumstances, I'm not all that bad. Could be worse I guess. I might have lost an arm or a leg in addition to the heart. I just want to go back home and hide.

Which brings us to my new concept of home. Home is actually now a bedroom at my brothers house. Not that I need a bedroom as I no longer sleep. If I have gotten four hours sleep in the past week I would be surprised. Every time I close my eyes the all too familiar images of us and our happy home life send me screaming back out to the comfort of the living room and my brother's bachelor wisdom. "Have a beer", he says. Then he pulls out the crib board and we talk and joke about how funny being single is, and it helps. A little more time passes by and I get one hour closer to getting over 'him'.

And time passes till one day I wake up and I am living again. I have no idea how or when it happened? But I am nestled snuggly into my new life and everything is okay again. That day that I stood by the side of the road debating whether or not to walk out in front of a truck, is over.

Thank god for those that stand behind and beside us. More specifically thank god for my brother, that strong gentle man who listened to my ramb

lings and rantings, who let me cry, whine and be angry. Who, through it all let me think that I was okay, until I really was okay again.

Time really does heal all wounds. Lean on your friends when you need them. If that doesn't help seek out your family doctor or pychologist. Help is out there you just have to reach out your hand to receive it. Then just be patient and keep going on about life as though nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Let the magic of passing time heal your emotional wounds just as it does physical ones. One day you'll wake up, look outside, and realize that you are really truly living once again. It just takes a little time!

Ladymermaid

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